Let’s talk about why that’s not okay.
You’ve probably seen it in Facebook groups. Heard it in business circles. Maybe even said it yourself once:
“I just want to find a VA who cares about my business as much as I do.”
It sounds fair, right? You’re passionate about your work. You want someone who’s equally invested. Someone who will treat your business like their own.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Expecting your VA to care more about your business than you do isn’t leadership, it’s outsourcing responsibility.
And it’s one of the most common reasons support breaks down.
Let’s call it what it is: a boundary problem in disguise.
This belief sounds like a call for commitment. But underneath, it’s often covering up:
- A lack of clear systems
- Vague instructions and unspoken expectations
- Minimal onboarding (if any)
- Ghosting during key decisions
- No time or capacity for leadership
When a business owner is checked out, disorganised, or overwhelmed, they may hope that someone else will step in and “just take it over.” But contractors aren’t mind readers. And they’re not your co-founder.
That pressure to over-care leads to blurred lines, resentment, and burnout, for both sides.
Contractors can care. But they shouldn’t carry.
Don’t get me wrong, VAs and online support professionals are some of the most loyal, detail-oriented, and invested people I’ve met. They care deeply about delivering quality work. About contributing to meaningful businesses. About being trusted.
But at the end of the day?
They’re running their own business. They have their name, brand, and values to protect. They have multiple clients. And their job is to support you, not save you from yourself.
If they’re showing up, communicating clearly, and doing what they said they would?
They’re doing their job.
Leadership is not about perfection. It’s about participation.
You don’t need to have all the answers. But you do need to:
- Communicate consistently
- Provide context and clarity
- Be willing to make decisions
- Respect your contractor’s time and boundaries
- Stay engaged in your own business
I’ve supported businesses that never onboarded properly. That handed over a vague pile of tasks and expected me to just “figure it out.” That didn’t respond to messages for days or weeks, but still expected momentum.
When that kind of support fails, it’s not because the VA didn’t care.
It’s because leadership was missing.
If you want someone to care about your business, start with you.
Lead with clarity.
Create structure.
Set expectations.
And don’t hand over your business hoping someone else will love it into working. Caring is great, but carrying it all? That’s your job.
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